I needed some time to fully process what took place last week. It was a sad and traumatic experience that I had MONTHS to prepare for. It rared it's ugly head exactly one week ago. Nope, not the Presidential debate. People....... I turned 30. (every person over 40 just laughed, I know)
I've written about this dreaded day's arrival before (see post here) - but now that it's here and I'm older and wiser (ba ha) I thought I'd share my thoughts in the form of a letter for anyone else with a milestone birthday approaching. Consider it my birthday gift to all my fellow earthlings on the brink of mental breakdowns as gray hairs consume your lovely locks and achy joints become more than just something said on commercials. As the oldest of most of my friends, I also feel that it's my duty to blaze the trail for you youngsters still 29. Enjoy friends, we'll get through this together ;)
Dear Aging Human,
This is weird, right? You're about to hit a milestone age. You remember your parents turning this age. You understand now why older folks stop celebrating/remembering birthdays - no one needs the reminder that you're aging, it's not as exciting as finally being 18 or 21. You're thinking more about your life up to this point with utterances of expletives or nostalgic sighs, and a few secret tears you dare only shed in an empty car or shower to drown out your wails. The gray hairs that people pay good money to cover are starting to be more noticeable and it's only a matter of time until you sneak a box of hair dye into your shopping cart - you can't hide anymore. You look at older people's skin and take out a second mortgage to buy preventative skin aging products to avoid that fate, but it's probably too late - the sun kissed, melanoma ridden summers you had as a teen have already decided that fate, but you'll proceed with your skin treatments to feel better about it. You're finding limitations to your body now - suddenly a jog around the block needs an extra support bra or knee brace, and will include a mental negotiation about if it will be worth the week of soreness or sprained muscle that will follow, to which you nix the workout and opt for a salad for dinner instead. Cholesterol and Sodium are things you think about now. You hear your favorite old bands referred to as 'classics' or 'throw backs.' You consciously don't have caffeine after 3 pm. You ask yourself if you've had a vegetable today. You ask your parents about their health more, because you care of course, and you're curious about what genetic blessings await you. Basically, you're faced with the harsh reality that aging is upon you. *insert meme or GIF of wailing celebrity on that one show that totally fits what you're doing on the inside*
But that's not all - other things are happening too! You reminisce about the past as if it were centuries ago, and you begin to remember people and memories you thought you had forgotten. Some good - like the friends that you wouldn't have survived high school without, the late-night Whataburger trips in college for study groups that really turned into night-long hang out sessions and inside jokes that still make you giggle, the first date you had with your now spouse, that shopping trip with your mom and sister when you found perfect wedding dress, the nightmare-ish first year of marriage memories that make you realize how far you really HAVE come, or the proud moments in you and your spouse's careers. Some bad - like the ex-boyfriend you never should have wasted your time on, the friendships that didn't survive the years and miles, the failures you faced, the bad haircut you got that one summer, or the loved ones you miss that are no longer here to see your life now.
But as you reminisce because of this emotional day approaching, my advice to you is this - think ahead too. Think ahead to that age you wouldn't IMAGINE thinking about now - one birthday-inspired mental breakdown at a time, right? But go there, think about the next milestone age... now ask yourself, how do you want to remember these years? What good times, what bad times survived, what successes, what moments of victory do you want to reflect on then? Tomorrow's memories are today's MOMENTS - and you have the chance to make them great. I'm certain that in a year, maybe ten I'll look back at this blog, the hilariously pathetic nights I spent crying about turning 30, and the production I made about turning 30 - and laugh.
So aging human, it's going to be okay. People are going to tell you that this was their 'favorite' age, some will laugh and call you a baby, others will say that it only gets worse so you better enjoy it now - but I hope you'll remember my words too - tomorrow's memories are today's MOMENTS - and you have the chance to make them great. So put the lid on your Bengay, fold up off your afghan, and do something today that your future self will be glad you did. Aging is inevitable, it's happening, and you're doing it - HOW you do it is up to you. So-in-so is yes, more successful than you, yes, that person is living their dream, and yeah - you might not be there yet. Yeah, there are things you thought you'd accomplished by now - and thinking about those things will make you question whether you should even try anymore. But take it from me, the Queen of Self-loathing based upon comparison, you might not be there today, but it's up to you if you get there someday. Fight the urge to quit since you're not there now and do something to get you there one day. Replace those thoughts of what you haven't done yet, with memories of the things you have. Someone is looking at your life wishing they were where you are.
Aging human - you've got this. Blow out the candles (as bright and plenty as they are now) then shut off the smoke detector (te he, that was mean) and smile. People will always want to celebrate you on this day - YOU - so let them. They think you're pretty great - and for good reason. Celebrate life and make this coming year more exciting than the last. You deserve it - and you won't regret it.
Sincerely,
Thirty, Not Flirty, & Crying
::BONUS TRACK::
To make 30 more bearable/something to look forward to - I gave myself a challenge to do 30 things I'd never done before! Here's a list of my 30 before 30 Challenge I started in December:
1. Tickets to Adele
2. Tried a macaroon
3. Booked a Celebrity Mascot for a work event
4. Tried Chicken & Waffles
5. Completed Wood Project using my own power tools
6. Visited the Dogwood Trails in East Texas
7. Shot a rifle and handgun
8. Picked my own berries
9. Made my own pottery from clay
10. Worked out on vacation!
11. Went to Top Golf
12. Completed 18 holes of golf... from golf cart ;)
13. Sat in the Splash Zone at Sea World
14. Petted a Sting Ray
15. Went down a water slide/ride
16. Went on a mini-roadtrip
17. Visited the Sam Houston Statue in Huntsville, TX
18. Visited the Chromosauruses in Ft. Worth, TX
19. Spent a day watching Netflix
20. Tried Yoga
21. Visited the Houston Children's Museum
22. Organized a concert!
23. Became a coffee drinker (iced coffee)
24. Received a teaching training certificate for ESL
25. Went camping with my husband
26. Baked a pie!
27. Tried caviar
28. Learned to make balloon animals
29. Tried archery (sorta)
30. Got tickets to see Rend Collective!
Friday, October 14, 2016
Friday, July 8, 2016
Before You #Hashtag...
There is a trend that I am a big fan of. This trend can summarize a thought or joke in a word, explain sarcasm when needed, or complete a thought or moral of the story without being wordy... one symbol + one word or phrase = the #HASHTAG! I love it! I use it almost daily, even in actual verbal conversation! I'm a big fan, it's a hoot.
There is another trend right now using the #Hashtag that I want to warn my friends and family of. This trend has been applied to court rulings, political parties, current events, even teen movie love interests and it is a fad with the power to separate families, colleagues, friends, and neighbors. How? By using this beloved #hashtag to draw a line in the sand. Are you #TeamPeta? #TeamJacob? Are you a #HillaryHater? Do you think that #SomeLivesMatter? Well friends... be careful.
I've heard it said that, "If you stand for nothing, you fall for anything." That's funny, because I don't see a whole lot of strength coming from taking a stand behind your #Hashtag. No, sadly, this line-in-the-sand-are-you-with-me-or-against-me mentality is doing quite the opposite. So here is my prayerful plea - Think before you #Hashtag, think before you draw that line in the sand. Think and pray before you pick a side and wave that banner proudly.
See, it's been brought to my attention through God's Word that the Enemy never succeeded by encouraging unity. From the beginning of time the slithery being of evil crept into garden, the hearts, and the minds of God's people with the intent to divide. We see it again in kingdoms and countries all throughout our history. And today, via the #hashtag, we use our right to free speech to declare a side, a team, and a mindset that we can't take back.
For a country of strong, self-reliant, open-minded people - we sure are gullible in falling in to the REAL trap that's been set: If we are not united, we will fall. Let me say that again for it to really sink in - IF WE ARE NOT UNITED... WE WILL FALL. That, ladies and gents, should terrify you.
I read an article, that quizzed foreigners - it asked them what surprised them the most when they visited the USA and one stuck out to me. The answers were meant (I think) to be funny, but this one was eye-opening. I don't remember the exact phrase, but it was along the lines of being surprised that a country claiming to be the United States of America had such patriotism toward their STATE more than America.
So when I say for strong people, we're gullible - I'm including myself in this. I am proud to be an AMERICAN - yes a Texan, but I don't want to fall for this scheme anymore!
There is no doubt that the Enemy has found his stronghold - it is division - and it's working. It's been as subtle as provincial preference and as blatant as gender allowances, racial/profession profiling, or sexual orientation! But we're blind to it, in fact we're standing up for it, and using the trusty #hashtag to show where our allegiances lie. Be careful friends.
So in a country that, especially today, is choosing a side, #hashtagging away, and filling our lives with division, my prayer is that you will think and pray before you do the same. Yes, it's okay to be sad and angry and hurt for the injustice in our nation, but it's not okay to divide, it's not okay to hate, it's not okay to place judgement on masses because of the sins of few. Think. Pray. Unite. We must friends, we simply have to.
There is another trend right now using the #Hashtag that I want to warn my friends and family of. This trend has been applied to court rulings, political parties, current events, even teen movie love interests and it is a fad with the power to separate families, colleagues, friends, and neighbors. How? By using this beloved #hashtag to draw a line in the sand. Are you #TeamPeta? #TeamJacob? Are you a #HillaryHater? Do you think that #SomeLivesMatter? Well friends... be careful.
I've heard it said that, "If you stand for nothing, you fall for anything." That's funny, because I don't see a whole lot of strength coming from taking a stand behind your #Hashtag. No, sadly, this line-in-the-sand-are-you-with-me-or-against-me mentality is doing quite the opposite. So here is my prayerful plea - Think before you #Hashtag, think before you draw that line in the sand. Think and pray before you pick a side and wave that banner proudly.
See, it's been brought to my attention through God's Word that the Enemy never succeeded by encouraging unity. From the beginning of time the slithery being of evil crept into garden, the hearts, and the minds of God's people with the intent to divide. We see it again in kingdoms and countries all throughout our history. And today, via the #hashtag, we use our right to free speech to declare a side, a team, and a mindset that we can't take back.
For a country of strong, self-reliant, open-minded people - we sure are gullible in falling in to the REAL trap that's been set: If we are not united, we will fall. Let me say that again for it to really sink in - IF WE ARE NOT UNITED... WE WILL FALL. That, ladies and gents, should terrify you.
I read an article, that quizzed foreigners - it asked them what surprised them the most when they visited the USA and one stuck out to me. The answers were meant (I think) to be funny, but this one was eye-opening. I don't remember the exact phrase, but it was along the lines of being surprised that a country claiming to be the United States of America had such patriotism toward their STATE more than America.
*blinks*
Guys... I'm from TEXAS. It's been drilled into me from infancy, when I received my first pair of cherry red cowboy boots, to be a proud, friendly, polite TEXAN. When I visit other countries, I say I'm from TEXAS! I secretly judge other people when they move out of state (how could anyone born in Texas voluntarily leave? We have it all, you want trees, go to Tyler; You want desert, go to El Paso; You want snow in the Winter, go to Amarillo; You want a beach, go to Corpus Christi!) Holy cow - it's true, and I'm admittedly guilty of it!
How very, very sad. Isn't it?
So when I say for strong people, we're gullible - I'm including myself in this. I am proud to be an AMERICAN - yes a Texan, but I don't want to fall for this scheme anymore!
There is no doubt that the Enemy has found his stronghold - it is division - and it's working. It's been as subtle as provincial preference and as blatant as gender allowances, racial/profession profiling, or sexual orientation! But we're blind to it, in fact we're standing up for it, and using the trusty #hashtag to show where our allegiances lie. Be careful friends.
So in a country that, especially today, is choosing a side, #hashtagging away, and filling our lives with division, my prayer is that you will think and pray before you do the same. Yes, it's okay to be sad and angry and hurt for the injustice in our nation, but it's not okay to divide, it's not okay to hate, it's not okay to place judgement on masses because of the sins of few. Think. Pray. Unite. We must friends, we simply have to.
"Be sober-minded and alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in your faith and in the knowledge that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kinds of suffering." 1 Peter 5:8-9
Friday, April 15, 2016
Singing in the Drain - yes Drain
Life.
Man, it can remind you of so many things. Roller coasters, with ups and downs and screams around every corner; a box of chocolates... I'll let you finish this one, I've written before about the seasons of life, etc. But here's one I'm currently viewing: a drain.
Womp womp. No, this will not be a down-in-the-dumps post, keep reading, I think I'm on to something here.
I am approaching a milestone age - the big THREE-OH. No, not depressing in and of itself, but it's prompted a lot of discussion lately among my friends and family about why.
For me personally, it's mental (with a touch of physical - the gray hair and achy joints remind me of what's coming). But it's mostly mental: I can't help but reflect on where younger-me thought I'd be at this point in my life. My life isn't bad by any means, I'm so grateful for my loving husband, my dog-hair filled rental home, the wet noses of my furbabies, my wonderful family, my new friends, my job - I'm so happy that the Lord has blessed me more than I ever deserved.
I will admit to shedding LOTS of tears with this realization and asking this very question.
I am aware that crying about it changes nothing.
No, I do not intend to wallow in self pity.
Yes, I am going to do something to change it.
I'm going to reflect on the things I have done up to this point!
I'm going to smile knowing that this birthday will come and go, and the only difference will be a day.
There are no expiration dates for dreams.
I may be circling the drain right now, but one day I won't be.
I may not accomplish it before 30, maybe not even 31 - but one day I will.
Man, it can remind you of so many things. Roller coasters, with ups and downs and screams around every corner; a box of chocolates... I'll let you finish this one, I've written before about the seasons of life, etc. But here's one I'm currently viewing: a drain.
Womp womp. No, this will not be a down-in-the-dumps post, keep reading, I think I'm on to something here.
I am approaching a milestone age - the big THREE-OH. No, not depressing in and of itself, but it's prompted a lot of discussion lately among my friends and family about why.
What makes aging, and approaching milestone ages so depressing?
For me personally, it's mental (with a touch of physical - the gray hair and achy joints remind me of what's coming). But it's mostly mental: I can't help but reflect on where younger-me thought I'd be at this point in my life. My life isn't bad by any means, I'm so grateful for my loving husband, my dog-hair filled rental home, the wet noses of my furbabies, my wonderful family, my new friends, my job - I'm so happy that the Lord has blessed me more than I ever deserved.
Buuuuuttt...
I hate feeling that I'm not quite there. This is where the drain comes in - I just feel like I'm close. Close to the life I saw for myself, but not there - I'm circling the drain but never quite plunging down to the next chapter - you with me? Now, yes, I am aware that the phrase 'circling the drain' commonly refers to that stage in life waiting to DIE - ha ha - that is not what I'm referring to, but the picture is much the same. I'm frustrated with being close. I'm in the career field I want - but not the capacity I dreamed of. I'm in the area I wanted to live in - but I'm not a home owner with freedom to customize. I'm happily married to my best friend - but I want him to truly be happy with his dreams too. I'm just stuck circling the drain, just out of arm's reach of where I thought I'd be.
So now what?
I will admit to shedding LOTS of tears with this realization and asking this very question.
I am aware that crying about it changes nothing.
No, I do not intend to wallow in self pity.
Yes, I am going to do something to change it.
And here's where I'm starting, because -- full disclosure -- I honestly have no idea HOW to change it:
I'm going to sing in the Drain.
I'm going to choose joy!I'm going to reflect on the things I have done up to this point!
I'm going to smile knowing that this birthday will come and go, and the only difference will be a day.
There are no expiration dates for dreams.
I may be circling the drain right now, but one day I won't be.
I may not accomplish it before 30, maybe not even 31 - but one day I will.
Maybe your dreams are a bit more grand than owning a home or having a dream job, or maybe they're as simple as shedding a few pounds, passing a final, or finally installing new floor, and maybe you're not quite there yet - but I hope you can join me in singing in the drain (ha ha)!
The time limits we place on ourselves are only monitored by ourselves, believe it or not - no one else cares! The lies we tell ourselves of, "So-in-so is probably so disappointed that I didn't ___, or that I'm not ___, etc." aren't reality. Reality is that most people are thinking of their own issues, their own successes beyond reach.
So, my fellow drain-dwellers - chin up! We're closer than we were yesterday, and the seasons beyond the drain will have roller coaster/box of chocolate moments we need to be ready for.
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
Boyfriend For Life
I came across an adorable challenge on a blog I frequent, The Dating Divas. The 30 day love challenge started on January 18th, and challenged husbands and wives, to do something sweet and creative for their spouse for the 30 days leading up to Valentine's Day. To truly understand why a person like myself would do this, other than the obvious - 'this should be interesting and make for a blog entry or two' and I'm a total cheese ball and love silly things like this - I must first tell you a story:
Once upon a time, a princess tried to embrace a new land far far away from her family. She had her Prince and royal pup, and was thrilled to see what the future held. Very soon after her journey, Valentine's Day arrived! Now this was a day that was greeted in past years with cards, jewelry, and other magical things - so this year was sure to be a great one, with so much more to do in this land! To the Princess's surprise, the Prince didn't plan a single thing. Well. This meant that they would have no plans, so when a sweet villager invited the couple to a small country church dinner (with the Prince's least favorite food being served) and movie (played on a projector whilst being seated in wooden pews for 2 hours) - the Princess had no choice but to agree to attend. Bwah. Ha. Ha.
So. Hubby learned his lesson. But I learned something too. Valentine's Day - meh. Not really a holiday that makes a ton of sense or grand significance, but I must say that I've always been a fan of a day that everyone comes together and puts aside their differences to show they care. I love my husband all year, but I like the romance of him knowing something extra can come around every year on February 14th. However, the pressure of planning, purchasing, surprising, secreting, etc. can crop up feelings opposite to love. So. I saw this challenge as a way to dote on my adorable husband, which is what I like, and take the pressure off of planning something, which is what he likes.
The first day I started I was met with a smile and eye roll. We ate dinner and I asked him to fill out a questionnaire listing his favorite snacks, foods, etc, most of which I already knew - but it was fun to see how well I knew him.
As we progressed, the daily treats started stirring something in him - he actually started looking forward to them, wondering when they were coming, and even asked me to keep some of the printables so he could do them for me sometime! My heart just melted! This adorable challenge was having a 'heart grew 3 sizes/Grinch' effect on my already loving husband (he's no Grinch, but you get the imagery).
Then.... the inevitable happened. A bad day. You've all had them. And in 30 days if you don't have one, you're probably about to, ha ha! The I-love-you-but-we're-off-and-not-on-the-same-page-and-just-looking-at-me-wrong-causes-an-argument-and-I-just-want-chocolate kinda day. Buuuut, I had a love challenge that day. I didn't necessarily do it with bells on my shoes - but I did it. And something amazing happened: I realized that I was seeing a picture unfold of what marriages, what relationships, what families are supposed to look like - to love graciously, give selflessly, despite your current feelings - and it was beautiful. Sure, I frowned while doing it; sure, it appeared as though I were just doing the challenge out of obligation - but God spoke to me through my grumpy heart that day, and I was so grateful for the 'obligatory' challenge that saved our bad day.
What would your marriage, your friendship, your relationship look like if we displayed love when we least wanted to? It can be as tiny as refilling a glass, taking out the trash, sending a sweet text - but something that says "I love you" when your tone, your look, your last words may say otherwise.
My husband is my boyfriend for life. We're always dating, always flirting, always promising to be there for the other. And I hereby declare that from Valentine's Days to Bad Days I will show him love. Thank you Dating Divas!
Once upon a time, a princess tried to embrace a new land far far away from her family. She had her Prince and royal pup, and was thrilled to see what the future held. Very soon after her journey, Valentine's Day arrived! Now this was a day that was greeted in past years with cards, jewelry, and other magical things - so this year was sure to be a great one, with so much more to do in this land! To the Princess's surprise, the Prince didn't plan a single thing. Well. This meant that they would have no plans, so when a sweet villager invited the couple to a small country church dinner (with the Prince's least favorite food being served) and movie (played on a projector whilst being seated in wooden pews for 2 hours) - the Princess had no choice but to agree to attend. Bwah. Ha. Ha.
So. Hubby learned his lesson. But I learned something too. Valentine's Day - meh. Not really a holiday that makes a ton of sense or grand significance, but I must say that I've always been a fan of a day that everyone comes together and puts aside their differences to show they care. I love my husband all year, but I like the romance of him knowing something extra can come around every year on February 14th. However, the pressure of planning, purchasing, surprising, secreting, etc. can crop up feelings opposite to love. So. I saw this challenge as a way to dote on my adorable husband, which is what I like, and take the pressure off of planning something, which is what he likes.
The first day I started I was met with a smile and eye roll. We ate dinner and I asked him to fill out a questionnaire listing his favorite snacks, foods, etc, most of which I already knew - but it was fun to see how well I knew him.
As we progressed, the daily treats started stirring something in him - he actually started looking forward to them, wondering when they were coming, and even asked me to keep some of the printables so he could do them for me sometime! My heart just melted! This adorable challenge was having a 'heart grew 3 sizes/Grinch' effect on my already loving husband (he's no Grinch, but you get the imagery).
Then.... the inevitable happened. A bad day. You've all had them. And in 30 days if you don't have one, you're probably about to, ha ha! The I-love-you-but-we're-off-and-not-on-the-same-page-and-just-looking-at-me-wrong-causes-an-argument-and-I-just-want-chocolate kinda day. Buuuut, I had a love challenge that day. I didn't necessarily do it with bells on my shoes - but I did it. And something amazing happened: I realized that I was seeing a picture unfold of what marriages, what relationships, what families are supposed to look like - to love graciously, give selflessly, despite your current feelings - and it was beautiful. Sure, I frowned while doing it; sure, it appeared as though I were just doing the challenge out of obligation - but God spoke to me through my grumpy heart that day, and I was so grateful for the 'obligatory' challenge that saved our bad day.
What would your marriage, your friendship, your relationship look like if we displayed love when we least wanted to? It can be as tiny as refilling a glass, taking out the trash, sending a sweet text - but something that says "I love you" when your tone, your look, your last words may say otherwise.
My husband is my boyfriend for life. We're always dating, always flirting, always promising to be there for the other. And I hereby declare that from Valentine's Days to Bad Days I will show him love. Thank you Dating Divas!
Friday, May 8, 2015
Coke Machine God
Faith is a priority to me. Understanding God, seeking Him, and living each day for His glory are not things I do well, but things I have in the forefront of my mind each day and strive for. Sometimes when I talk to God He places something on my heart that I feel I need to pass on, and today's entry is just that. Fear not, I'm sure an amusing post will follow soon - you just never know with this Fairytale of mine - but I hope you gain wisdom and insight from what the Lord is revealing.
It has occurred to me lately that Christians are often plagued with a very tempting, yet heretical paradigm shift in times of trouble. Let me paint you a picture:
Imagine with me that each time you go to church, each time you attend an additional Bible study throughout the week, serve on a mission trip, serve the community, donate to charity, open your Bible, join a committee, pray at night, don't do what the world does, don't watch that movie or tv show, you refrain from language or behavior the Bible frowns on, etc. your receive a shiny new quarter. You store it away in some fabulous imaginary designer bag or coin purse (mine would likely contain enough glitter to dress a cheer leading squad and flannel ...because that's just the kind of enigma I am).
This, my friends - is a problem.
Keep staring. Keep waiting. You're going to notice something happen. First, you're going to get impatient, then angry, then question what all those 'good deeds' were for.
Hindus believe in karma, the law of cause and effect by which each individual creates his own destiny by his thoughts, words and deeds. See: https://www.himalayanacademy.com/readlearn/basics/nine-beliefs Spoiler alert - this is not Christianity.
DID YOU KNOW?
Here's the truth. The Coke Machine God does not exist. No amount of shiny, imaginary quarters will be enough to deposit for immediate gratification - sorry. In fact, I'm not aware of a single answer to immediate gratification (other than the Cupcake ATM - that thing is gold).
Let's paint another picture:
You embark on an ever changing, ever winding road with our Creator. You seek His guidance along the way, you read His word, and out of that relationship flows the desire to seek Him more, to fellowship with His people, to serve those that don't know Him - that friends, is the Lord making His desires the desires of your heart. ("Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4) There is no check list. No attendance sheet. Just pure love that pours out of a mutual love between you and God.
This road will not be without times of trouble. You'll still encounter those moments of illness, bad news, loss of wages, loss of employment, death, divorce, heart ache, injury, the plague - BUT - because of your relationship with God and the faith you have put in Him, you'll know that as much as your situation sucks - you're okay and you're not alone. Your situation may not change overnight, it may not change at all even - but know this friends: the outcome does not reflect His ever-present, always gracious, love for you. So what do you do? If the life you live, the relationship you have with God doesn't necessarily make times of trouble go away, and it's not of value to 'cash in' on rainy days - what do you do.
I'm still digging into this myself. But here's where I am now - take it or leave it. You, in no particular order, take a deep breath, cry, pray, get angry, ask 'why?', call your mom, call your friends, vent, pray some more, THEN - remember this: it is temporary.
Yes, even the permanent changes. Because, take heart friends, this life on this earth will have seasons, but like all seasons - they come and go. And bonus - this life on this earth is a fragment of time compared to the ETERNITY we have coming. I know, cliche, but what better way to look at times of trouble than staring at it, realizing 'aint nobody got time for that, and telling it "you'll be gone soon."
Give it priority in your life and that is exactly what it will become. Put it on a shelf to reflect on from time to time and that's what you'll do. Give it completely to God - I mean plop it at the feet of the Father to handle and walk away knowing you've outsourced it to the Great Healer, Comforter, Protector - and that's exactly what will happen. He'll take care of it, He'll protect and comfort you while His ultimate will is done. Now, I'm a sensitive person - so the tiniest offense can send me tail spinning into a time of trouble - but yall, this is where I'm at - I pick myself up, dry my tears, and remind myself that it's temporary, it's minute, I'm okay and I'm not alone.
So friends, let's ceremoniously empty our imaginary coin purses (as fabulously glittery and flannelly as they may be) and embrace a relationship with God that will truly be an ever present help in trouble. Coke Machine God doesn't exist, but the God of the Universe, the Lord of lords, the King of kings does - and he LONGS for an actual, real, unfettered, unconditional relationship with you.
It has occurred to me lately that Christians are often plagued with a very tempting, yet heretical paradigm shift in times of trouble. Let me paint you a picture:
Imagine with me that each time you go to church, each time you attend an additional Bible study throughout the week, serve on a mission trip, serve the community, donate to charity, open your Bible, join a committee, pray at night, don't do what the world does, don't watch that movie or tv show, you refrain from language or behavior the Bible frowns on, etc. your receive a shiny new quarter. You store it away in some fabulous imaginary designer bag or coin purse (mine would likely contain enough glitter to dress a cheer leading squad and flannel ...because that's just the kind of enigma I am).
UNTIL...
Times of trouble occur. This could be a spectrum of things - illness, bad news, loss of wages, loss of employment, death, divorce, heart ache, injury, the plague - you get it - times get tough, as they always will.
HARK!
You remember your dazzling coin purse, filled to the brim with shiny new coins that you earned. You take a deep breath, you insert a coin into the abyss, make your selection from the spectrum of choices (healing, peace, a raise at work, a new job, comfort, restoration, etc.) and death stare at the receptacle waiting for your earnings to payoff.This, my friends - is a problem.
Keep staring. Keep waiting. You're going to notice something happen. First, you're going to get impatient, then angry, then question what all those 'good deeds' were for.
Let me explain why:
DID YOU KNOW?Hindus believe in karma, the law of cause and effect by which each individual creates his own destiny by his thoughts, words and deeds. See: https://www.himalayanacademy.com/readlearn/basics/nine-beliefs Spoiler alert - this is not Christianity.
DID YOU KNOW?
That the Bible refers to good works many times, BUT almost all of them are in reference to loving God's people humbly. And yes, those things will please God, and you will be rewarded, but in how and when He desires. See for yourself: http://www.openbible.info/topics/doing_good_deeds
Here's the truth. The Coke Machine God does not exist. No amount of shiny, imaginary quarters will be enough to deposit for immediate gratification - sorry. In fact, I'm not aware of a single answer to immediate gratification (other than the Cupcake ATM - that thing is gold).
Let's paint another picture:
You embark on an ever changing, ever winding road with our Creator. You seek His guidance along the way, you read His word, and out of that relationship flows the desire to seek Him more, to fellowship with His people, to serve those that don't know Him - that friends, is the Lord making His desires the desires of your heart. ("Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4) There is no check list. No attendance sheet. Just pure love that pours out of a mutual love between you and God.
This road will not be without times of trouble. You'll still encounter those moments of illness, bad news, loss of wages, loss of employment, death, divorce, heart ache, injury, the plague - BUT - because of your relationship with God and the faith you have put in Him, you'll know that as much as your situation sucks - you're okay and you're not alone. Your situation may not change overnight, it may not change at all even - but know this friends: the outcome does not reflect His ever-present, always gracious, love for you. So what do you do? If the life you live, the relationship you have with God doesn't necessarily make times of trouble go away, and it's not of value to 'cash in' on rainy days - what do you do.
I'm still digging into this myself. But here's where I am now - take it or leave it. You, in no particular order, take a deep breath, cry, pray, get angry, ask 'why?', call your mom, call your friends, vent, pray some more, THEN - remember this: it is temporary.
Yes, even the permanent changes. Because, take heart friends, this life on this earth will have seasons, but like all seasons - they come and go. And bonus - this life on this earth is a fragment of time compared to the ETERNITY we have coming. I know, cliche, but what better way to look at times of trouble than staring at it, realizing 'aint nobody got time for that, and telling it "you'll be gone soon."
Give it priority in your life and that is exactly what it will become. Put it on a shelf to reflect on from time to time and that's what you'll do. Give it completely to God - I mean plop it at the feet of the Father to handle and walk away knowing you've outsourced it to the Great Healer, Comforter, Protector - and that's exactly what will happen. He'll take care of it, He'll protect and comfort you while His ultimate will is done. Now, I'm a sensitive person - so the tiniest offense can send me tail spinning into a time of trouble - but yall, this is where I'm at - I pick myself up, dry my tears, and remind myself that it's temporary, it's minute, I'm okay and I'm not alone.
So friends, let's ceremoniously empty our imaginary coin purses (as fabulously glittery and flannelly as they may be) and embrace a relationship with God that will truly be an ever present help in trouble. Coke Machine God doesn't exist, but the God of the Universe, the Lord of lords, the King of kings does - and he LONGS for an actual, real, unfettered, unconditional relationship with you.
Thursday, February 5, 2015
Tamatha, the Annual Blogger
Well. I lied. My hiatus was not an irregular occurrence. Life whips and turns and juggles me around, and I find myself on the other side of a year finally finding time to sit at a computer...again. Apparently I am a once-a-year blogger. So I better make this one good. ;)
My sitcom life in the RV didn't last TOO long. My roommates and pup did a great job in the blessing we called home, and although it was cold most nights, smelled like a boys locker room much of the time, and all showering and restroom-ing took place half a mile away in a 'club room' - it really could have been worse. I passed my test and became a licensed in insurance. I started a fantastic and fast-paced job with wonderful people and learned a lot about myself (most of which included tear-filled prayers about why customers are so mean). I also got real cozy with a 45 minute one-way commute, that I despised more than the boys' locker room smell in my temporary home. Houston traffic is no exaggeration. After about 6 weeks, we found a home that didn't have to be hooked up, with lots of room. We added a furry family member, and named him after a dinosaur (naturally). THEN something amazing happened. I received an email out of the blue one day, inquiring about an old resume found online from my pre-move-job-search days! Who found this you ask? None other than the big 'ole Baptist church I drove by LITERALLY everyday - in walking distance of our home! After a couple interviews, a Mexico vacation, and an answered prayer I was offered the job as a ministry assistant for one of the largest churches in the area!
It's been wonderful!
Not without bouts of homesickness. Not without quarks. Not without lengthy tear-filled calls to my family. Not without hiccups. But no adventure is.
What have I learned this year?
I've learned how to trust beyond the borders I'm used to, and every moment was terrifying.
I've learned that long commutes let you catch up with old friends and family you don't see much anymore.
I've learned that time with family is never to be taken for granted or wasted.
I've learned that church families are vital to growth and the one I had back home has been irreplaceable.
I've learned that little sisters are best friends you can't ever get enough of.
I've learned how to make healthy choices to extend my life - but pizza and sweet tea will always get in the way.
I've learned that our ability to swim and not sink involves obedience and favor from God.
I've learned that my husband is my very best friend, and there's no body on this planet that gets me the way he does.
This adventure has only begun. I'm not going to promise to frequent this blog for your entertainment each week, but I will promise that as God leads me - I will impart the ugly truth and hilarious lessons the next year hold.
My sitcom life in the RV didn't last TOO long. My roommates and pup did a great job in the blessing we called home, and although it was cold most nights, smelled like a boys locker room much of the time, and all showering and restroom-ing took place half a mile away in a 'club room' - it really could have been worse. I passed my test and became a licensed in insurance. I started a fantastic and fast-paced job with wonderful people and learned a lot about myself (most of which included tear-filled prayers about why customers are so mean). I also got real cozy with a 45 minute one-way commute, that I despised more than the boys' locker room smell in my temporary home. Houston traffic is no exaggeration. After about 6 weeks, we found a home that didn't have to be hooked up, with lots of room. We added a furry family member, and named him after a dinosaur (naturally). THEN something amazing happened. I received an email out of the blue one day, inquiring about an old resume found online from my pre-move-job-search days! Who found this you ask? None other than the big 'ole Baptist church I drove by LITERALLY everyday - in walking distance of our home! After a couple interviews, a Mexico vacation, and an answered prayer I was offered the job as a ministry assistant for one of the largest churches in the area!
It's been wonderful!
Not without bouts of homesickness. Not without quarks. Not without lengthy tear-filled calls to my family. Not without hiccups. But no adventure is.
What have I learned this year?
I've learned how to trust beyond the borders I'm used to, and every moment was terrifying.
I've learned that long commutes let you catch up with old friends and family you don't see much anymore.
I've learned that time with family is never to be taken for granted or wasted.
I've learned that church families are vital to growth and the one I had back home has been irreplaceable.
I've learned that little sisters are best friends you can't ever get enough of.
I've learned how to make healthy choices to extend my life - but pizza and sweet tea will always get in the way.
I've learned that our ability to swim and not sink involves obedience and favor from God.
I've learned that my husband is my very best friend, and there's no body on this planet that gets me the way he does.
This adventure has only begun. I'm not going to promise to frequent this blog for your entertainment each week, but I will promise that as God leads me - I will impart the ugly truth and hilarious lessons the next year hold.
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Our Big Move: The Pilot
This Feasible Fairytale of mine has certainly taken a hiatus from the blogger-sphere, but it has NOT been uneventful. Let's just say, after 3.5 grueling months of living out of suitcases 300 miles apart, my husband and I are just one week away from a reunion away from the home I have known for twenty-er-five years (I'm going to be 25 forever I've just now decided) and embarking on a journey truly into the unknown.
We're outta here.
Now there are moments that this notion is equated with applause and celebration - like when I take up knitting on a Friday night as a form of entertainment... not a proud moment for a young pup like myself. I've done everything there is to do in this sweet little town, and as much as I love frequenting the local Target and Cinema, the 45 minute drive to the beach and endless festivals and concerts that await are a bit more applause worthy... and they don't make me feel ninety ...or twelve.
Then there are moments that cause nausea, sleepless nights, night sweats, and thought spaghetti {"thought spa|ghet|ti":// noun, referring to the female epidemic occurring when thoughts before bed string on to other thoughts, which lead to other thoughts, which occasionally cross previous thoughts, much like the appearance of a plate of spaghetti... duh} - much like the night that has evoked this entry. The What If Monster lurks around every corner, and although the appealing entertainment bait soothes it for a moment, the What If's tend to win on nights like these, and I feel very much like curling up into a giant ball of knitting yarn, rewind, and never think of leaving.
It's not like I have anything to think about though. The cramming and studying AFTER working a full day's work is nothing. And the pressure of HAVING to study to obtain a required certification for the job I have been offered to proceed with hiring me is no big deal. And the reality of moving into a temporary home with two grown men and a dog is nothing really. Yes two men, it's a long story, but no, I do not have brother-husbands, although this adventure could certainly contain enough entertainment to rival such a fabulous idea for a tv show - and guess what - moving into a temporary home with two grown men was NOT the punch line here people, it gets better! The temporary home I speak of is.... a 26 foot RV that has been loaned to us temporarily... yep. A recreational vehicle. That folks, will be the site of my first leg of this adventure. See, aren't you glad this blog is back? Combine those things with the gut wrenching goodbyes I have to look forward to this week, the loss of a relative today, the preparation for my departure at my current workplace, the piles of laundry needing to be cleaned and packed into a bag (yes, laundry will forever haunt me), the nagging thought of having to shave my legs regularly again once I'm back with my hubby (don't judge me, it's been glorious), and the inevitable late start I'm going to have tomorrow morning from staying up so late tonight, and you have the makings of a panic attack in the works and a pretty interesting blog series... or a hit tv show... or the script to another Hunger Games sequel.
So get ready people. This Feasible Fairy Tale is hitting the road... only to park... at an RV park... with a dog.. and two men... and the classifieds... and a dose of hilarity that you'll only find here.
Stay tuned.
We're outta here.
Now there are moments that this notion is equated with applause and celebration - like when I take up knitting on a Friday night as a form of entertainment... not a proud moment for a young pup like myself. I've done everything there is to do in this sweet little town, and as much as I love frequenting the local Target and Cinema, the 45 minute drive to the beach and endless festivals and concerts that await are a bit more applause worthy... and they don't make me feel ninety ...or twelve.
Then there are moments that cause nausea, sleepless nights, night sweats, and thought spaghetti {"thought spa|ghet|ti":// noun, referring to the female epidemic occurring when thoughts before bed string on to other thoughts, which lead to other thoughts, which occasionally cross previous thoughts, much like the appearance of a plate of spaghetti... duh} - much like the night that has evoked this entry. The What If Monster lurks around every corner, and although the appealing entertainment bait soothes it for a moment, the What If's tend to win on nights like these, and I feel very much like curling up into a giant ball of knitting yarn, rewind, and never think of leaving.
It's not like I have anything to think about though. The cramming and studying AFTER working a full day's work is nothing. And the pressure of HAVING to study to obtain a required certification for the job I have been offered to proceed with hiring me is no big deal. And the reality of moving into a temporary home with two grown men and a dog is nothing really. Yes two men, it's a long story, but no, I do not have brother-husbands, although this adventure could certainly contain enough entertainment to rival such a fabulous idea for a tv show - and guess what - moving into a temporary home with two grown men was NOT the punch line here people, it gets better! The temporary home I speak of is.... a 26 foot RV that has been loaned to us temporarily... yep. A recreational vehicle. That folks, will be the site of my first leg of this adventure. See, aren't you glad this blog is back? Combine those things with the gut wrenching goodbyes I have to look forward to this week, the loss of a relative today, the preparation for my departure at my current workplace, the piles of laundry needing to be cleaned and packed into a bag (yes, laundry will forever haunt me), the nagging thought of having to shave my legs regularly again once I'm back with my hubby (don't judge me, it's been glorious), and the inevitable late start I'm going to have tomorrow morning from staying up so late tonight, and you have the makings of a panic attack in the works and a pretty interesting blog series... or a hit tv show... or the script to another Hunger Games sequel.
So get ready people. This Feasible Fairy Tale is hitting the road... only to park... at an RV park... with a dog.. and two men... and the classifieds... and a dose of hilarity that you'll only find here.
Stay tuned.
Monday, July 8, 2013
HIS & HERS - a gift from God
Weddings are fun. Showers are too! And inevitably at both you'll receive/see 'his & hers' memorabilia everywhere. That's a neat idea - 'his & hers' - isn't it? To walk into marriage with a defined list of 'this is his' and 'this is hers' is great... or is it? Oh sisters... it is. And this story from my Feasible Fairytale will make you agree...
Once Upon A Time...
My brand new hubby and I moved in to our one bedroom, one bathroom, one closet castle/apartment. It was a lovely apartment. It was sure to accommodate the never-ending-togetherness we just said 'I Do' to - and we were there for each other literally around every corner. Brushing teeth with one sink. Picking out morning wardrobes in one closet. Even sitting and watching tv on the only piece of living room furniture we owned. We were one.
One frightful day (after about 48 hours of that blissful life detailed above), our fairy tale found its first bump. THIS WAS NOT COOL. We were used to living alone. We didn't co-habitate before being wed, so most of what we encountered the first 6 months of marriage was spent asking, 'uh, have you always done that?' We were very used to having our own bathrooms. Our own closets. Even our own tv's when we were bachelors/bachelorettes. This was quite a change.
Our first year of marriage wasn't the most cuddly, inside voice kind of year. It was tough. It was raw reality. Now, not all of it was from the adorable bathroom and closet cuddles we involuntarily faced, we had more than a taste of reality, and pretty much finished the entire carton of it in the first year. But inevitably, the idea of 'his & hers' seemed like much more than a novelty bath towel - it was a necessity.
DISCLAIMER: This has obvious boundaries, and isn't always best or needed for all couples. This is what worked for us, stopped numerous wars, and is done in moderation, not across the board.
We eventually stretched our legs 2 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment - and we suddenly liked each other a whole lot more.
Ladies - boys are gross. They are. And ladies - our hair sheds... a lot. Bathrooms just aren't fun places to talk about - especially when shared. If you're lucky enough to have a master bath with 2 sinks, 2 closets, and even 2 towel racks - well, you're in Heaven and you can stop reading. If your morning routines involve conversations about 'too much hairspray in the air,' 'you didn't flush the toilet again,' 'omg the drain is clogged again' - well - greetings, welcome to living in need of 'his & hers'.
I recently had an in-law stay with us for a few weeks, getting on his feet and preparing to move into our area. I graciously offered him our 2nd bathroom and 3rd bedroom, and though nothing of the impending doom I was about to face moving into my husband's bathroom (yes - we now have 'his & her' bathrooms - one of the joys of no kiddos yet and virtually NO visitors...ever). We scheduled our shower and morning prep to relay each other, as to avoid crowding, and things were good! Until ...
Things were good for him too! Until ...
Our in-law has gotten settled into his new home and new job now, and the rest of his family has moved here too, and I SPRINTED to 'hers' bathroom the day he moved out. Glory and peace rested on our life once again. He's still gross. And I still shed and spill makeup powder. But when it's done in our own separate places - all is well in the world.
Now, I mention this only because something we saw on TV the other day made this seem blog worthy(er) than the adventure itself. We were watching a show about people hunting for homes, and the wife said very bluntly, "and we need two separate bathrooms - we do not share bathrooms." It struck me like, well, well, look at you too good to share a bathroom with your husband, that's kind of rude - immediately followed by, crap - that's something I will say to a Realtor one day too!
Is this a rude thing? Is this a common thing? Is this a good-for-the-safety-of-everyone matter to others? Do spouses secretly wish they did this, but don't? I'd love to hear your thoughts! ... not that it will change our arrangements ;)
Once Upon A Time...
My brand new hubby and I moved in to our one bedroom, one bathroom, one closet castle/apartment. It was a lovely apartment. It was sure to accommodate the never-ending-togetherness we just said 'I Do' to - and we were there for each other literally around every corner. Brushing teeth with one sink. Picking out morning wardrobes in one closet. Even sitting and watching tv on the only piece of living room furniture we owned. We were one.
One frightful day (after about 48 hours of that blissful life detailed above), our fairy tale found its first bump. THIS WAS NOT COOL. We were used to living alone. We didn't co-habitate before being wed, so most of what we encountered the first 6 months of marriage was spent asking, 'uh, have you always done that?' We were very used to having our own bathrooms. Our own closets. Even our own tv's when we were bachelors/bachelorettes. This was quite a change.
Our first year of marriage wasn't the most cuddly, inside voice kind of year. It was tough. It was raw reality. Now, not all of it was from the adorable bathroom and closet cuddles we involuntarily faced, we had more than a taste of reality, and pretty much finished the entire carton of it in the first year. But inevitably, the idea of 'his & hers' seemed like much more than a novelty bath towel - it was a necessity.
DISCLAIMER: This has obvious boundaries, and isn't always best or needed for all couples. This is what worked for us, stopped numerous wars, and is done in moderation, not across the board.
We eventually stretched our legs 2 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment - and we suddenly liked each other a whole lot more.
Ladies - boys are gross. They are. And ladies - our hair sheds... a lot. Bathrooms just aren't fun places to talk about - especially when shared. If you're lucky enough to have a master bath with 2 sinks, 2 closets, and even 2 towel racks - well, you're in Heaven and you can stop reading. If your morning routines involve conversations about 'too much hairspray in the air,' 'you didn't flush the toilet again,' 'omg the drain is clogged again' - well - greetings, welcome to living in need of 'his & hers'.
I recently had an in-law stay with us for a few weeks, getting on his feet and preparing to move into our area. I graciously offered him our 2nd bathroom and 3rd bedroom, and though nothing of the impending doom I was about to face moving into my husband's bathroom (yes - we now have 'his & her' bathrooms - one of the joys of no kiddos yet and virtually NO visitors...ever). We scheduled our shower and morning prep to relay each other, as to avoid crowding, and things were good! Until ...
*insert suspenseful 'dun, dun, DUUUNNN' music here*
I saw it. Facial clippings. IN. THE. SINK. No he didn't. My husband is very handsome. He's a sweetheart. I love him so much. But in an instant - I remembered WHY we don't share a bathroom. Boys are gross.Things were good for him too! Until ...
*yeah, 'dun, dun, DUUUNNN' again*
He saw it. Makeup powder on the counter... and now his slacks... and his black dress socks.Our in-law has gotten settled into his new home and new job now, and the rest of his family has moved here too, and I SPRINTED to 'hers' bathroom the day he moved out. Glory and peace rested on our life once again. He's still gross. And I still shed and spill makeup powder. But when it's done in our own separate places - all is well in the world.
Now, I mention this only because something we saw on TV the other day made this seem blog worthy(er) than the adventure itself. We were watching a show about people hunting for homes, and the wife said very bluntly, "and we need two separate bathrooms - we do not share bathrooms." It struck me like, well, well, look at you too good to share a bathroom with your husband, that's kind of rude - immediately followed by, crap - that's something I will say to a Realtor one day too!
Is this a rude thing? Is this a common thing? Is this a good-for-the-safety-of-everyone matter to others? Do spouses secretly wish they did this, but don't? I'd love to hear your thoughts! ... not that it will change our arrangements ;)
Sunday Morningness
My Fairytale has had its share of hilarity, but one thing I don't feel I speak about enough is my faith in God. See, He is the ultimate Author of this story - so it's only fitting that I post an entry occasionally simply gushing about how cool He is. You with me still? I hope so. This won't be dull - I assure you.
Getting There
There is one day a week that will turn houses upside down, cause traffic jams in bathrooms, blow breakers, burn pancakes, and offer hope after all of it - SUNDAYS. If you're like me - growing up going to church meant stumbling over people hogging the bathroom mirror, a sea of Sunday best rejects strewn on the floor, an occasional argument in the car about so-in-so sitting on my Bible, and a shot of orange juice and a stale doughnut welcoming you into the wide church doors. It is the most hectic bliss a person can encounter, and it's a tradition that looks a little differently for me today. Today, Sunday mornings look more like a grouchy bear stumbling out of bed (no more wake up knocks on the door every 5 minutes), rummaging through clothes (no one to wash something you need the night before), and speeding to church praying the policemen in town have already made it to church (no one else to blame for being late). But it is still my favorite morning of the week. This past Sunday was no exception.
Sitting There
Sitting through church on Sunday mornings isn't quite the same either. LITTLE Tamatha church days consisted of napping, coloring, pouting for having to brush my hair and wear a dress, and the occasional thump on the back of the neck from my Daddy when my little sister used the blue crayon too long and an argument ensued. TEENAGE Tamatha church days meant sitting in the front rows like a big kid, passing notes ever so stealthily, where neither parents behind me nor pastor in front of me would notice, and actually learning occasionally about this God that I dedicated my life to. ADULT Tamatha church days include a little of all - I still enjoy coloring and sitting in the front like a big kid, but those tokens of truth that stick out of a message like a BLARING HORN are what I love about the learning part. I've learned to hear God through messages and worship - and yesterday's message from God (whether the intent of the sermon or not) was this: A relationship with God is one that PROGRESSES - and if you notice a REgression - it's time to reevaluate. (this is where you add the "Wooo!" or "Amen!" or "C'mon Brother" - in case you were wondering.
Going On From There
I sat and pondered that thought through most of the service (sorry R, I promise I'll listen to your great sermon on CD, LOL), and what a GREAT thing to do - to examine your life through the lenses of PROGRESSION vs. REGRESSION. I'm so grateful for the progression I feel I have made in my relationship with God this year. It's been a doozy of a year, that's for sure, but that's the neatest part. Looking back at the pain from loss, the frustration with circumstances, and the everyday 'blah's' that come with life from this past year - one certainly wouldn't view that as a setting for progression - but it has been! Sure, the obvious things like my progression from snoring in church to flirting in church to actually listening in church are easy to see, but the things in my heart - the things only God and I see and know about - those are the things I'm so excited to talk about! I even like that I can see progression in people I know too (not that I can see their hearts, but it's easy to see fruit from work the Lord does in a heart.) I'm so proud of some of the people in my life that are doing this too, PROGRESSING. It's a beautiful thing. But it's also humbling, because as I reflected yesterday, I remembered some seasons in my life that were either stagnant - neither progressing or regressing - or clearly regressing. When I think about those moments, I feel like others are there, and I would like to offer some insight.
REGRESSING? Well yea. And I'm sure you can think of a dozen reasons, circumstances, excuses for it - things that make you feel justified in reverting back to old ways, old thoughts, old frames of mind. Right? Well. Does it feel better to be there? Of course it doesn't. The reasons didn't disappear, the circumstances didn't improve, the excuses don't ease the pain - so now what? This is where I was. I realized that my relationship with God was important, but not something I could hang on a shelf and count on when I felt better. Sure, God never leaves or forsakes you - but He's not a genie in a bottle! You can't put Him away until you're done 'handling things your own way' and THEN bring Him back weeks, months, or even years later, you can't call out to Him in moments of pain or weakness and expect the world to magically be better - then get mad at HIM when they don't. I mean, sure you can - but what if He did that do you? Here's the truth - your relationship with God, however it came to be, was the most important decision you have ever, and will ever, make in your life. Period. So if you believe that to be true - why not treat it like it. View the circumstances, the reasons, the excuses through a different set of lenses - look at them for what they are: temporary, likely unimportant in the big picture, and nothing God can't mold into good. Once I made that decision - to place God on top, and allow all the crud to be filtered through Him and my relationship with Him - a beautiful thing happened: PROGRESSION. I'm no genius or pro on the matter, and definitely need to remind myself of this often, but it's been the easiest and most exciting true CHANGE I've seen in myself. In a situation that 3 years ago would have sent me into a tail spin of self pity, overwhelming anxiety, and many sleepless nights - I now view through the eyes of God. Because of this situation how can He get glory, how does this effect me in the big picture, and what is the Godly reaction? I'm still human - and slip up - but I find that I sleep better, view myself differently, and care a lot less about little stuff and see that a majority of things are simply the sin-nature in others. If I can't change it or control it - I'm not going to try.
*steps down from virtual pulpit* Probably the coolest thing ever about Sunday Morningness is that it lasts all week. It isn't something that stays the same, and neither should your relationship with God. It's a cool thing to look at life and see IMPROVEMENT - I encourage you to do it! Look at the progression of your life! Wooo! And if you're not there - you don't quite see it: start today, look back tomorrow - and celebrate!
Getting There
There is one day a week that will turn houses upside down, cause traffic jams in bathrooms, blow breakers, burn pancakes, and offer hope after all of it - SUNDAYS. If you're like me - growing up going to church meant stumbling over people hogging the bathroom mirror, a sea of Sunday best rejects strewn on the floor, an occasional argument in the car about so-in-so sitting on my Bible, and a shot of orange juice and a stale doughnut welcoming you into the wide church doors. It is the most hectic bliss a person can encounter, and it's a tradition that looks a little differently for me today. Today, Sunday mornings look more like a grouchy bear stumbling out of bed (no more wake up knocks on the door every 5 minutes), rummaging through clothes (no one to wash something you need the night before), and speeding to church praying the policemen in town have already made it to church (no one else to blame for being late). But it is still my favorite morning of the week. This past Sunday was no exception.
Sitting There
Sitting through church on Sunday mornings isn't quite the same either. LITTLE Tamatha church days consisted of napping, coloring, pouting for having to brush my hair and wear a dress, and the occasional thump on the back of the neck from my Daddy when my little sister used the blue crayon too long and an argument ensued. TEENAGE Tamatha church days meant sitting in the front rows like a big kid, passing notes ever so stealthily, where neither parents behind me nor pastor in front of me would notice, and actually learning occasionally about this God that I dedicated my life to. ADULT Tamatha church days include a little of all - I still enjoy coloring and sitting in the front like a big kid, but those tokens of truth that stick out of a message like a BLARING HORN are what I love about the learning part. I've learned to hear God through messages and worship - and yesterday's message from God (whether the intent of the sermon or not) was this: A relationship with God is one that PROGRESSES - and if you notice a REgression - it's time to reevaluate. (this is where you add the "Wooo!" or "Amen!" or "C'mon Brother" - in case you were wondering.
Going On From There
I sat and pondered that thought through most of the service (sorry R, I promise I'll listen to your great sermon on CD, LOL), and what a GREAT thing to do - to examine your life through the lenses of PROGRESSION vs. REGRESSION. I'm so grateful for the progression I feel I have made in my relationship with God this year. It's been a doozy of a year, that's for sure, but that's the neatest part. Looking back at the pain from loss, the frustration with circumstances, and the everyday 'blah's' that come with life from this past year - one certainly wouldn't view that as a setting for progression - but it has been! Sure, the obvious things like my progression from snoring in church to flirting in church to actually listening in church are easy to see, but the things in my heart - the things only God and I see and know about - those are the things I'm so excited to talk about! I even like that I can see progression in people I know too (not that I can see their hearts, but it's easy to see fruit from work the Lord does in a heart.) I'm so proud of some of the people in my life that are doing this too, PROGRESSING. It's a beautiful thing. But it's also humbling, because as I reflected yesterday, I remembered some seasons in my life that were either stagnant - neither progressing or regressing - or clearly regressing. When I think about those moments, I feel like others are there, and I would like to offer some insight.
REGRESSING? Well yea. And I'm sure you can think of a dozen reasons, circumstances, excuses for it - things that make you feel justified in reverting back to old ways, old thoughts, old frames of mind. Right? Well. Does it feel better to be there? Of course it doesn't. The reasons didn't disappear, the circumstances didn't improve, the excuses don't ease the pain - so now what? This is where I was. I realized that my relationship with God was important, but not something I could hang on a shelf and count on when I felt better. Sure, God never leaves or forsakes you - but He's not a genie in a bottle! You can't put Him away until you're done 'handling things your own way' and THEN bring Him back weeks, months, or even years later, you can't call out to Him in moments of pain or weakness and expect the world to magically be better - then get mad at HIM when they don't. I mean, sure you can - but what if He did that do you? Here's the truth - your relationship with God, however it came to be, was the most important decision you have ever, and will ever, make in your life. Period. So if you believe that to be true - why not treat it like it. View the circumstances, the reasons, the excuses through a different set of lenses - look at them for what they are: temporary, likely unimportant in the big picture, and nothing God can't mold into good. Once I made that decision - to place God on top, and allow all the crud to be filtered through Him and my relationship with Him - a beautiful thing happened: PROGRESSION. I'm no genius or pro on the matter, and definitely need to remind myself of this often, but it's been the easiest and most exciting true CHANGE I've seen in myself. In a situation that 3 years ago would have sent me into a tail spin of self pity, overwhelming anxiety, and many sleepless nights - I now view through the eyes of God. Because of this situation how can He get glory, how does this effect me in the big picture, and what is the Godly reaction? I'm still human - and slip up - but I find that I sleep better, view myself differently, and care a lot less about little stuff and see that a majority of things are simply the sin-nature in others. If I can't change it or control it - I'm not going to try.
*steps down from virtual pulpit* Probably the coolest thing ever about Sunday Morningness is that it lasts all week. It isn't something that stays the same, and neither should your relationship with God. It's a cool thing to look at life and see IMPROVEMENT - I encourage you to do it! Look at the progression of your life! Wooo! And if you're not there - you don't quite see it: start today, look back tomorrow - and celebrate!
Monday, May 13, 2013
To The Sensitive Sallies...
My whole life I have been ostracized for attributes my gender takes full blame for. I'm the last to know things, approached with extreme caution in emergency situations, and the consumer of tissues in even the Greeting Card isle. It is not a bad thing, it is not our fault, and it is not a mystery - anymore. There are ways to work with us. To my fellow Sensitive Sallies - this is for you.
1. DO NOT with hold information from us because you fear how we'll 'react.' Chances are - if a reaction is feared - a reaction is a rational response! If you fear a blubbering mess with one shoe and a shirt inside out showing up to the ER to see you - well - you put yourself in the ER - you're welcome for the shirt at all.
2. DO NOT start a sentence with "I'm okay - but..." Seriously? Let's examine this with even a non-emotional person. "I'm okay - BUT" - um, tell me Heartless Henry - your heart doesn't jolt for a second wondering what the HECK is coming next? Liar. Just sayin'.
Caller - if you're okay - fabulous - end with that - tell me what's NOT okay so the relief from that statement will halt whatever spastic Superwoman motion that's probably in progress with the not okay part.
3. DO NOT let us hear from someone else. Nothing is worse than the caught-off-guard emotion. "I'm so sorry so-in-so was in the hospital" or "I bet you're so excited about so-in-so's news" - ummm - this is the definition of ouch to anyone - but for a Sensitive Sally - you're now dealing with an entire spectrum of emotions. Shock first. Then anger. Then insecurity. Then a frantic glance at cell phone. A fake laugh and or smile. Then hurt feelings. Then anger again. Then curiosity. *If you're the messenger - abort. Just leave. Fast. The facial expressions you see are only the tip of the iceberg. The extensive list of questions that are about to pour out of the fake-smiling-crazy-eyed person you're speaking to will be too much for you. Simply nod. Smile. And run. *If you're the person the messenger is referring to - shame on you. You deserve the phone call you're about to get. And you'll remember it the next time you have news you 'forget' to tell a Sensitive Sally. (I believe I may have just jumped to the top of the phone tree from some readers... hopefully.)
4. DO NOT whisper. Seriously? Everyone knows that Sensitive Sallies have bionic hearing. You think you're being clever? Pshh, giiirl - we think we know what you just said. We're formulating a more-than-likely exaggerated/completely false version of truth we believe we just heard in our heads - and you better pray that the Sensitive Sally hearing it loves Jesus and won't spread that gossip anywhere. You'll be amazed at how quickly a whispered, "Do you have a tampon?" can turn into "Oh my gosh, did you hear that me and Prince Henry are eloping to Russia to adopt African birds of prey, but don't tell so-in-so because I hate her and she smells." and you'll be even more shocked at how fast it can spread throughout a room in 10 minutes.
If you're whispers are not directed toward the sensitive Sally - well - you better believe that she thinks they are now. She's probably tearing up, making a mental list of what she think she just heard, and over-thinking it more than any normal person would, and will likely find a reason to politely leave... so that she can cry in her car.
5. DO NOT leave us out. If you receive a call when Sensitive Sally goes to dinner, has a party, has a cold, had a baby, has a birthday, goes to the mall, etc - you should probably give her a call when any of the mentioned happens to you. Some Sallies are a bit extreme in this - but ones like me - think it's a common courtesy to be included in things we want to include you in. This normally ends up with Rule 3 taking place - and no body likes 2 strikes on their record to they? It stinks for anybody to be the last one picked in gym class - but for a Sensitive Sally - last ones picked usually grow up to be the crazy cat ladies... or find themselves on Pinterest for hours each night... a-hem. Anyways. Even as a courtesy - remember the Sallies - your tone will tell the Sally if you're invitation is sincere - in fact a sincere one will probably come with a comped meal and gift basket delivered later! Ha!
6. DO NOT mistake all tears for sad ones. Tears have a bad rap. They normally exit with the same terrible, unattractive face - but they don't always mean the same thing. Sensitive Sallies will cry generally with every emotion. Joy. Fear. Sadness. Laughter. Pain. Gilmore Girls ending. Good food. We're crying. It's not all bad! So do not tell us to stop. If you do - you too are expected to not blink during sneezes, jump when you're startled, or breathe. Ever. It's not something we can help. So grab a tissue for us, lie and say we're cute criers, and get over it.
I'm sure there are more helpful hints on dealing with the Sensitive Sally in your life - but this is all I could manage for now. And to my dear husband who decided to call me when he had a fender bender today... after the cop... and the insurance guy... and workplace... and after you returned to work.... I love you and am glad you're okay.... sniff sniff. See Rules 1 & 2 and we'll talk later. I'll bring the tissues. ;)
Gotta love my Feasible Fairytale.
1. DO NOT with hold information from us because you fear how we'll 'react.' Chances are - if a reaction is feared - a reaction is a rational response! If you fear a blubbering mess with one shoe and a shirt inside out showing up to the ER to see you - well - you put yourself in the ER - you're welcome for the shirt at all.
2. DO NOT start a sentence with "I'm okay - but..." Seriously? Let's examine this with even a non-emotional person. "I'm okay - BUT" - um, tell me Heartless Henry - your heart doesn't jolt for a second wondering what the HECK is coming next? Liar. Just sayin'.
Caller - if you're okay - fabulous - end with that - tell me what's NOT okay so the relief from that statement will halt whatever spastic Superwoman motion that's probably in progress with the not okay part.
3. DO NOT let us hear from someone else. Nothing is worse than the caught-off-guard emotion. "I'm so sorry so-in-so was in the hospital" or "I bet you're so excited about so-in-so's news" - ummm - this is the definition of ouch to anyone - but for a Sensitive Sally - you're now dealing with an entire spectrum of emotions. Shock first. Then anger. Then insecurity. Then a frantic glance at cell phone. A fake laugh and or smile. Then hurt feelings. Then anger again. Then curiosity. *If you're the messenger - abort. Just leave. Fast. The facial expressions you see are only the tip of the iceberg. The extensive list of questions that are about to pour out of the fake-smiling-crazy-eyed person you're speaking to will be too much for you. Simply nod. Smile. And run. *If you're the person the messenger is referring to - shame on you. You deserve the phone call you're about to get. And you'll remember it the next time you have news you 'forget' to tell a Sensitive Sally. (I believe I may have just jumped to the top of the phone tree from some readers... hopefully.)
4. DO NOT whisper. Seriously? Everyone knows that Sensitive Sallies have bionic hearing. You think you're being clever? Pshh, giiirl - we think we know what you just said. We're formulating a more-than-likely exaggerated/completely false version of truth we believe we just heard in our heads - and you better pray that the Sensitive Sally hearing it loves Jesus and won't spread that gossip anywhere. You'll be amazed at how quickly a whispered, "Do you have a tampon?" can turn into "Oh my gosh, did you hear that me and Prince Henry are eloping to Russia to adopt African birds of prey, but don't tell so-in-so because I hate her and she smells." and you'll be even more shocked at how fast it can spread throughout a room in 10 minutes.
If you're whispers are not directed toward the sensitive Sally - well - you better believe that she thinks they are now. She's probably tearing up, making a mental list of what she think she just heard, and over-thinking it more than any normal person would, and will likely find a reason to politely leave... so that she can cry in her car.
5. DO NOT leave us out. If you receive a call when Sensitive Sally goes to dinner, has a party, has a cold, had a baby, has a birthday, goes to the mall, etc - you should probably give her a call when any of the mentioned happens to you. Some Sallies are a bit extreme in this - but ones like me - think it's a common courtesy to be included in things we want to include you in. This normally ends up with Rule 3 taking place - and no body likes 2 strikes on their record to they? It stinks for anybody to be the last one picked in gym class - but for a Sensitive Sally - last ones picked usually grow up to be the crazy cat ladies... or find themselves on Pinterest for hours each night... a-hem. Anyways. Even as a courtesy - remember the Sallies - your tone will tell the Sally if you're invitation is sincere - in fact a sincere one will probably come with a comped meal and gift basket delivered later! Ha!
6. DO NOT mistake all tears for sad ones. Tears have a bad rap. They normally exit with the same terrible, unattractive face - but they don't always mean the same thing. Sensitive Sallies will cry generally with every emotion. Joy. Fear. Sadness. Laughter. Pain. Gilmore Girls ending. Good food. We're crying. It's not all bad! So do not tell us to stop. If you do - you too are expected to not blink during sneezes, jump when you're startled, or breathe. Ever. It's not something we can help. So grab a tissue for us, lie and say we're cute criers, and get over it.
I'm sure there are more helpful hints on dealing with the Sensitive Sally in your life - but this is all I could manage for now. And to my dear husband who decided to call me when he had a fender bender today... after the cop... and the insurance guy... and workplace... and after you returned to work.... I love you and am glad you're okay.... sniff sniff. See Rules 1 & 2 and we'll talk later. I'll bring the tissues. ;)
Gotta love my Feasible Fairytale.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Red, White, & Blue In The Face
It has been WAY too long since I have posted. But if you've read my blog at all you know that this is a tool that I use as a much more affordable mode of therapy. So my absence simply alludes to the calmness that I've been surrounded by lately.......... OR that I've been so very very busy the past few months that 'Oh, I need to blog about this' hasn't even been in question in the midst of the whirl wind life I'm living in these days. I'll let you decide which caused my hiatus, but either way - I'm back!
m or, esp. British, pa-]
In the wake of another tragedy in the USA, I'm back to explain an idea that I think many Americans share. The idea of defining Patriotism.
Now. I'm no Toby Keith. I don't own American flag ball caps and honestly, I'm not sure I fully understand the gravity of the true meaning of Independence Day. I enjoy a good hot dog. I love fireworks. I worship freely and understand that many countries don't. I have friends in the military that have served in war zones. I am married to a United States Sailor, who served as a reservist for 3 years. I understand that our country's foundations are being challenged. I voted. I pray for our President. I am proud to be an American.
Buuuut I've never been comfortable showing it.
How do you 'show it'? To be patriotic do I have to sport a flag sticker on my car window? Do I have to wear tiny 'God Bless America' pins to my clothes everyday? Or is it enough that I become absolutely ENRAGED, SICK, & SADDENED when terrorism of any kind (foreign or domestic) messes with any other state in my country?
I felt physical pain when terrorism hit a Colorado movie theater recently, and a High School years before. I was in tears for days when I saw news reports about the Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre. When I think back to the morning I went to school on September 11th, 2001, to hear and see TV's in every class room with images of New York under attack, it still puts a lump in my throat. Is that Patriotism?
It's happened again. Terrorism has hit my country. Boston, with other states and countries with residents in attendance, are healing from loss and tragedy from a day set aside for the celebration of Patriotism. It made me realize that what they were celebrating has never really been understood by myself and, if I were to guess, many Americans like me. We eat our hot dogs we wear our red, white, and blue, and put our hand over our heart during the Anthem and Pledge of Allegiance, but if you're like me, you never really embraced the Patriotism behind it.
Don't worry, you're not going to start seeing me reenacting war scenes in my back yard or waving a flag on the side of the road singing the National Anthem, but I will stand up today and declare proudly that America is a country that CANNOT BE BROKEN BY EVIL. People and organizations will try - but I think it's safe to say, that if you mess with one of us - you mess with all of us. That is Patriotism. The truth is that in times like this - sexual orientation, gun laws, and politics disappear - while our county rallies together to protect and pray for our own. That is Patriotism.
So if you're reading this and have never considered yourself 'patriotic' like I had, remember that it doesn't take a guns-a-blazin' country song, a sequin red, white, and blue vest, or a history book collection to embrace the love for the country we live in. I hope you too, will see the blessings we're given by a country we often take for granted and stand united during, yet again, another tragedy our country is facing. A little patriotism goes far. Thank you Boston for reminding me.
pa·tri·ot·ism
[pey-tree-uh-tiz-uhm or, esp. British, pa-]
noun
devoted love, support, and defense of one's country; national loyalty.
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