Man, it can remind you of so many things. Roller coasters, with ups and downs and screams around every corner; a box of chocolates... I'll let you finish this one, I've written before about the seasons of life, etc. But here's one I'm currently viewing: a drain.
Womp womp. No, this will not be a down-in-the-dumps post, keep reading, I think I'm on to something here.
I am approaching a milestone age - the big THREE-OH. No, not depressing in and of itself, but it's prompted a lot of discussion lately among my friends and family about why.
What makes aging, and approaching milestone ages so depressing?
For me personally, it's mental (with a touch of physical - the gray hair and achy joints remind me of what's coming). But it's mostly mental: I can't help but reflect on where younger-me thought I'd be at this point in my life. My life isn't bad by any means, I'm so grateful for my loving husband, my dog-hair filled rental home, the wet noses of my furbabies, my wonderful family, my new friends, my job - I'm so happy that the Lord has blessed me more than I ever deserved.
Buuuuuttt...
I hate feeling that I'm not quite there. This is where the drain comes in - I just feel like I'm close. Close to the life I saw for myself, but not there - I'm circling the drain but never quite plunging down to the next chapter - you with me? Now, yes, I am aware that the phrase 'circling the drain' commonly refers to that stage in life waiting to DIE - ha ha - that is not what I'm referring to, but the picture is much the same. I'm frustrated with being close. I'm in the career field I want - but not the capacity I dreamed of. I'm in the area I wanted to live in - but I'm not a home owner with freedom to customize. I'm happily married to my best friend - but I want him to truly be happy with his dreams too. I'm just stuck circling the drain, just out of arm's reach of where I thought I'd be.
So now what?
I will admit to shedding LOTS of tears with this realization and asking this very question.
I am aware that crying about it changes nothing.
No, I do not intend to wallow in self pity.
Yes, I am going to do something to change it.
And here's where I'm starting, because -- full disclosure -- I honestly have no idea HOW to change it:
I'm going to sing in the Drain.
I'm going to choose joy!I'm going to reflect on the things I have done up to this point!
I'm going to smile knowing that this birthday will come and go, and the only difference will be a day.
There are no expiration dates for dreams.
I may be circling the drain right now, but one day I won't be.
I may not accomplish it before 30, maybe not even 31 - but one day I will.
Maybe your dreams are a bit more grand than owning a home or having a dream job, or maybe they're as simple as shedding a few pounds, passing a final, or finally installing new floor, and maybe you're not quite there yet - but I hope you can join me in singing in the drain (ha ha)!
The time limits we place on ourselves are only monitored by ourselves, believe it or not - no one else cares! The lies we tell ourselves of, "So-in-so is probably so disappointed that I didn't ___, or that I'm not ___, etc." aren't reality. Reality is that most people are thinking of their own issues, their own successes beyond reach.
So, my fellow drain-dwellers - chin up! We're closer than we were yesterday, and the seasons beyond the drain will have roller coaster/box of chocolate moments we need to be ready for.
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