I'm not nieve enough to think that married life is perfect.
I know the fairy tales we read as kids told stories of happily ever afters - but there's a reason the stories ended at the 'I do's' with a kiss - because that's the easy part!
If they were to write stories of Cinderella never picking up her shoes, or Snow White always talking to birds more than her Prince - the reviews wouldn't quite be the same. But those things are marriage.
Think about it. You're married. You're living with a person everyday, eating, sleeping, watching tv together day in and day out. Remember weekends spent with best friends? How by the end of the weekend tempers would flare, patience disappeared, and normally some irrational drama would unfold? Weeell... you're basically living this cycle every day after you say 'I do.' You're married and living with your grown up best friend! I think this same thing still occurs, on a more grown up level of course... sometimes. Ha.
I think all marriages go through seasons of strife. Nobody talks about it, because that's no fun, there's nothing glamorous about admitting to not being perfect. Sometimes strife seasons last a few hours, sometimes days or weeks, and in tragic cases, strife seasons can last years; because it's hidden, avoided, covered up, or ignored, and normally ends with a not-so-happy attorney duel.
I think it's time to talk about it! I don't need to spit out the over-used statistics about divorce - we all know it happens WAY too often. But, I think I should spit out the truth to seasons of strife (as I encounter them and handle them the best my little newly-wed self can).
There's something to be said about boxing. Let me explain. I rarely watch the stuff, or the MMA stuff that has flooded TV's these days, but the few times I've managed to choke down an episode Hub wants to watch, I notice that when things get stuck or the fighters are latched on and neither budge, the ref jumps in and pulls them to their corners. Interesting.
I think there's something about time-outs too. Let me explain. I was NOTORIOUS for spending time in corners for time out. Mostly because during rare angelic lapses in my childhood I would require punishment. The way my parents dealt punishment was by giving us options: were given the option of a spanking or minutes spent in time out. My zero pain tolerance is not a recent occurrence, and I always chose time out. Most of the time during my time-out times spent with my nose in the corner, I would try to see images in the wall texture, but sometimes I would actually think about what I had just been punished for. I would replay what had happened and think of how I would do it differently if it happened again. Well played parents. Well played.
Corners. Not a bad idea. Now, I'm no pro. And I haven't even been married that long. But my feasible fairy tale has several chapters of not-so-perfect-ness. Try coming home from a honeymoon paying bills with quarters! The first few pages of my fairy tale were spent fighting circumstances, and inevitably eachother because of them. So I think I can speak with some veteran knowledge on this topic. Marriage is not perfect. But with a few calculated time-outs and times in your corners, working through the non-perfect times become easier.
Never underestimate the power of a corner. Be it a man/woman cave, be it a drive around the block, or an extra long bubble bath - take time in a corner to think, pray, replay moments, compile compromises, and breathe.
Seasons of strife are almost always followed by seasons of joy. In the form of flowers, in a date night, in the form of a long awaited talk time, etc. The season of strife doesn't last forever. So when your flatulating Prince leaves the toilet seat up, forgets to take his plate to the sink, or watches one too many episodes of whatever manly channel he's landed on; and when you, Princess, wear your sweats one more night, or Pinterest a bit too long, or leave your hair in the drain again - remember that strife is common, strife is temporary, and strife is fixable.
- Brought to you by a woman currently in the corner... finding images in wall texture. ;)
