I love that friends/readers that experience my fairytale firsthand REQUEST blog entries. This is such entry. KW - this is for you friend. ;)
The Vinsons run to the endzone, brand new couch in tow, TOUCHDOOOOOOWN COUCH!
My husband and I have made many purchases together. We've mastered the art of grocery shopping. We've bought beloved animals together, vehicles together, even agreed on paint colors together - but nothing would prepare us for the lesson we learned just 24 hours ago.
I have been wanting a new couch for a very long time. (For those of you that have purchased furniture with a spouse, you're laughing right now - knowing exactly where this is going.) I have spent hours in the past few months, visiting each furniture store in a 20 mile radius for a couch that was in mine and Hubby's budget, could be tolerated by both of us, that we could keep for a while. But nothing seemed to fit.
We were determined to wait until we found the perfect one, and were both willing to wait until such couch found us... until yesterday. Maybe it was the cool air... maybe it was the lack of afternoon nap... whatever it was - it made us load up in to the truck, go to only one furniture store... and make a purchase. A mistake really. A lesson really. We purchased the worst mistake/best lesson ever.
Let me explain something about our family dynamic. We're not like most couples. Normally the "whatever you want hunny, I don't care anymore" phrase comes from the male in the relationship. Normally the,"Ughhh, I can't decide, this is a big decision" phrase comes from the female... Reverse that - and that's us. I'm normally the quick-decisioned-whatever-makes-you-happy-dear one in our fairytale, and my wonderful prince is the over-thinking-super-analytical-my-way-or-high-way one.
This couch purchase would blur those roles a bit, resulting in... OLE' BLUE. Whatever image just popped into your head upon reading that is EXACTLY what we purchased... A large... fluffy... BLUE ... couch. Siiiiiiiigh. Here's the play-by-play of how this came to be.
Wifey sits in protest in the couch she chose.
Hubby swings right, insisting on Bachelor-pad-ugly-media-room-couch-recliner.
Wifey searches for open compromise.
Hubby intercepts idea, and finds suitable compromise with color options.
Pea Green, Dark Brown, Blue - set hut!
Both decide on green - begin searching for rug to tie in - then from the back!! - BAM - Hubby requests to see Blue in warehouse.
Wifey huddles with staff and friends, all eyes on her.
Hubby asks: "Green or Blue?"
Wifey sees hubby's random new Blue compromise: "Blue I guess..."
TOUCHDOOOOOOOWN COUCH.
Once the blue couch was in place... and by in place, I of course mean completely out of place, because there is not a shred of blue in my house at all, and we're not yet of retirement age where it would match my sweet porcelin collectables or grandchildren's finger paintings... once it was in the room I secretly boiled with resentment for agreeing to such an ugly thing that I now had to look at for years.
Unbeknownst to me - my husband was doing the exact same thing.
Here's what really happened on the field:
Hubby wants to finally buy wifey what she's wanted for a while: a couch.
Wifey finds uncomfortable couch, but pretty.
Hubby finds comfy couch, but ugly.
Both Wifey and Hubby search for suitable compromise.
Found it.
Hubby wonders what the blue looks like, all that was on the show room floor was pea green.
Hubby sees the blue and asks what Wifey thinks.
Wifey is intimidated by friends and staff around her.
Wifey also wants to make Hubby happy, and assumes that the blue will make him happy.
Wifey says okay to blue.
Hubby thinks Wifey is happy with blue, and that he saved the day by finding something he liked that Wifey liked too.
TOUCHDOOOOOOOWN COUCH.
Wifey questions why Hubby liked blue.
Hubby questions why Wifey liked blue.
Wifey and Hubby hate blue couch.
Wifey and Hubby wanted to make Hubby and Wifey happy.
Wifey and Hubby: 0 Couch: 1
Now. We learned a very important lesson that all couples, I assume, learn at some point (I doubt it costs them as much money as it did us to learn such lesson though). There are times when honesty and speaking your mind are needed and required. This was not one of those "honey, does my butt look big" situations.
See, we learned pretty quickly in our marriage, that when you just say whatever you're thinking, all the time, without considering the constructiveness of your words, you really just nag or tear down the other. So we've been really good about thinking before we speak, and asking ourselves if what we're saying is constructive and has a solution, or if we're just complaining or stating unchangable truths.
In our couch hunting adventure, both of us wanted to make the other happy, so we only said he constructive things, not thinking about the giant household centerpiece we would be forced to live with in our home for years to come. We just wanted to make the other happy - which normally works when one sticks to what makes them happy. When both assume the other role NO ONE ends up happy.
Our 'Ole Blue found himself on Craigslist last night. He still sits in our living room, sitting all blue and couchlike for now. If someone, more than likely over the age of 60, is in the market for a blue couch, 20 hours old, for a REALLY good price they should wander over to Craigslist. And if you're someone itching to learn the lesson I did, do so with a smile, irrational optimism, bitten tongue, and empty wallet.
