Once upon a time, in a green and perfect land, the very first relationship was born. It started great, lots of pets, but concluded with painful child labor, stubborn land, and started the game of finger-pointing. Adam and Eve were created with no past. Weird huh? Did they have belly buttons? We will never know. But one thing we do know is that they had no previous notions to form their current state of mind. No parents, no traditions, they were the beginning!
My husband and I suit up every time a decision is to be made about chores, food, decor, holidays, discipline, etc. We slap on our shield of "The Way My Parents Did It", strap on a dozen "Well I Always Wanted's" to our belts, and go to war.
What's the solution? We each have a set of traditions and "ways" that we grew up with, and we would just so happen to come from two VERY different families, so of course there are no similarities. So in most cases it's usually a My Way vs. Your Way decison to make. We don't like this though! It's not fair to have to adopt the other person's traditions, so we've decided to evolve and make a hybrid of each.
For example: Birthdays
Oh my. My birthday parties ranged from gallas with DJ's, balloons, trolly's and rentals, to scavenger hunts, hotel stays, and costume parties! Birthdays are big in my family. Always noted, always celebrated, and sometimes even twice! So dinners with singing patrons and blushing cheeks is expected with me...
vs.
Birthdays are just another day. My husband remembers maybe 2 birthday parties he had. For him, birthdays were an opportunity to receive a gift you had wanted for a while. That's it.
How have we chosen to evolve and morph the two?
= We plan a dinner, no singing allowed, with gifts and friends and even a new outfit to wear to the dinner. Normally in addition to the family lunch normally on the day of our birthday. TA DA! Evolution meets marriage.
We have learned to soften our armor a bit and brainstorm ways of evolution instead. We have many more opportunites to flex this new muscle - when kids arrive, Christmas trees go up, and cars are washed - and I'm sure the pains and strains will not make it easy. In fact, I feel that a Marital First Aid Kit of "sorry's" and "you were right's" will be kept handy. With a couple "whatever you want dear's" brought to you Mrs. Always Right Inc. - my favorite :)
Adam and Eve ain't got nothing on Darwin and Love. Let's just hope Jekel and Hyde never find their way in...
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